I don't want to be a grown up....

I thought my blog was becoming popular, the older entries at least. Random people were leaving random comments. I've now realized that isn't it at all, I just need to change the title of "Will the post office reimburse you for late fees" because apparently people are searching for that and ending up here. Not very informative.
I leave for Washington DC on Saturday for our annual company meeting. I'm going a day early because I've never been. I agreed to do this reluctantly, and now I wish I hadn't. I'm dreading this trip and an extra day certainly isn't helping. When I say I'm dreading this trip, it's been on my mind since Christmas and this week it's been on my mind every waking minute. I've actually been contemplating just not going and getting fired. That's how much I don't want to go and that's how unhappy I am with this job.
I probably won't do that, but it's certainly a thought that I've had more than once.
Nothing against the people that will be there, but they're really strangers who I see once a year. Some of them are very nice, some of them are very full of themselves and I'm already dreading hearing the same stories of just how awesome they are. It's long boring days full of meetings. It's nights in a hotel with a roommate (no thank-you) and I dread it every single year. I just don't want to go. I am dreading the social aspect of it because I hate situations where you are in a group of people that you don't know (and I don't really know them, it's been a year since I've seen them...and some of them I've never met) and you're forced to mingle. I don't want to. I hate having every second of my day planned from breakfast to dinner and then being expected to hang out afterward. No thank-you, I just want to go to my room. With my roommate.
I get that everyone has to do things that they don't want to go, and I will go on this trip and I will count down the nights until I get to come home and it won't be as horrible as I am thinking it will be. But when you dread trips to the degree that you just cry for days before I have to question is it worth it and the answer is very clearly no. When I drive the interstate that goes in front of the airport I feel a sense of relief that I don't have to go there. I'm now starting to completely fear flying and I don't want to do it anymore. Along with that, I'm also starting to fear driving, it's starting to freak me out for no good reason as well.
Fixing my resume now.