So...where is all of that snow?

So...I survived the meeting and it wasn't horrible. I mean, it wasn't exactly fun, but it wasn't that terrible. I think although I was sorry that I agreed to go a day early to explore the city with my friend D, it was a good thing that I did because I haven't had a girlfriend bonding experience longer than a dinner in soooo long that it was fun. I think the combination of PMS and hating to travel made the dread of this trip far worse than any other. And, I think the fact that they didn't make us so the dumb group activities where you role play helped too. I hate those.

Regardless, the fact still remains that I need a new job. Although it is not as strong of a feeling as it was last week. With the poor economy the furniture industry was hit hard, and there are not many (usually not any...unless I want to work in a residential furniture store, and I DON'T) job listings. Last week I did find one that I wasn't sure if I was qualified for but applied any way...and this week I received an email that said: "Your application was ranked among those considered most qualified for this vacancy and has been referred to the selecting official for further consideration. You will be advised when a selection decision is made." YEAH! Then I received a second email that said: "Please disregard previous e-mail. Your application was not referred to the selecting official for further consideration because you were not among the best qualified. We do appreciate your interest in this position and encourage you to continue to visit our website for information about future vacancy announcements." Boo. But I didn't think I was qualified any way so it wasn't a surprise. Well, the first email was a surprise. Not very funny, FBI.

Now I'm sort of stuck...there are some words of dread going through my own company, and I know when I am hearing dread it must be bad because as a person who works from home you NEVER hear office gossip, and I feel I better kick it up a notch before I am kicked out. The problem then becomes that there aren't any jobs listed in my field and I'm not qualified for anything else...so what does one do? I don't know. But I better figure it out, eh? Right now I am pretty successful with my cafe in Cafe World on Facebook. But that's about all I have going on.

And last but certainly not least...guess what Marc and I looked at earlier this week? Yeah!

Cheers!

I don't want to be a grown up....

I thought my blog was becoming popular, the older entries at least. Random people were leaving random comments. I've now realized that isn't it at all, I just need to change the title of "Will the post office reimburse you for late fees" because apparently people are searching for that and ending up here. Not very informative.
I leave for Washington DC on Saturday for our annual company meeting. I'm going a day early because I've never been. I agreed to do this reluctantly, and now I wish I hadn't. I'm dreading this trip and an extra day certainly isn't helping. When I say I'm dreading this trip, it's been on my mind since Christmas and this week it's been on my mind every waking minute. I've actually been contemplating just not going and getting fired. That's how much I don't want to go and that's how unhappy I am with this job.
I probably won't do that, but it's certainly a thought that I've had more than once.
Nothing against the people that will be there, but they're really strangers who I see once a year. Some of them are very nice, some of them are very full of themselves and I'm already dreading hearing the same stories of just how awesome they are. It's long boring days full of meetings. It's nights in a hotel with a roommate (no thank-you) and I dread it every single year. I just don't want to go. I am dreading the social aspect of it because I hate situations where you are in a group of people that you don't know (and I don't really know them, it's been a year since I've seen them...and some of them I've never met) and you're forced to mingle. I don't want to. I hate having every second of my day planned from breakfast to dinner and then being expected to hang out afterward. No thank-you, I just want to go to my room. With my roommate.
I get that everyone has to do things that they don't want to go, and I will go on this trip and I will count down the nights until I get to come home and it won't be as horrible as I am thinking it will be. But when you dread trips to the degree that you just cry for days before I have to question is it worth it and the answer is very clearly no. When I drive the interstate that goes in front of the airport I feel a sense of relief that I don't have to go there. I'm now starting to completely fear flying and I don't want to do it anymore. Along with that, I'm also starting to fear driving, it's starting to freak me out for no good reason as well.
Fixing my resume now.

When did McDonald's quit serving sweet tea in the large cups?

If you owe me money for a vacation that was taken five months ago don't ask me what I want for Christmas. What I want for Christmas is my freaking money back. If you insist on a list it's only going to have one thing on it. My money. However, if it will make it look better I will list it multiple times phrasing it differently each time. And, if you owe me money for a vacation that was taken five months ago and think you're going to get a Christmas present from me, you are right, you will. A box with a note inside that says "Merry Christmas! You have received a five month interest free loan!".
Okay, not really, but that's what I would really like to do.

I have no problem with airport security. I will follow the rules, I will do what you ask of me, I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is lack of consistency. If you make me take off my hoodie forcing me to stand in the stupid line wearing a tank top that wasn't meant to see public with my bra straps hanging out looking completely like white trash then you darn well better make everyone else with a sweatshirt do the same thing. And, if that is the rule, make me do it everytime so I know to expect it and not wear that tanktop.

Lastly, to the jerk on the airplane....the flight attendant was not rude to you. You were just being a dumbass. When the flight is getting ready to take off you do not scream for the flight attendant's attention because you have some screwed up request to make about a drink you would like later during the flight. Especially when there isn't a beverage service because the flight is under 45 minutes/. When the flight attendant tells you to put your backpack under the seat and move your seat in the upright position after you make this request they are not being a jerk. They are making you do what everyone else is doing. Don't complain to the other flight attendatns that they were rude, and that "please and thank-you can go a long way". So can not being a dumbass. Like when we were getting off of the plane and you removed your bag from the overhead bin and knocked me in the head not once but twice and didn't apologize. Apologies can go a long way too. Or, when you then tried to close the overhead bin door (I don't know why...) and hit someone else in the head with it. Although you did apologize and your apology was clearly not accepted, it was unnecessary to explain to the other passengers it was fine that you knocked that guy in the head because he looked hard headed any way. And, by the way you are right, of course it was the airlines fault, they really should have put padding on those doors to protect others from dumbasses like you. Put some on your bag too.

Cheers.

Changes...

Right now my dinner arriving would make me really, really, really, really happy.
It's almost 8:30 and I am sitting in a stupid hotel room in Philadelphia. Which, if you know me, is one of my least favorite places to travel. It's dark. It's raining. I don't know where I am, and I refuse to go out...so, I'm waiting. Waiting. Waiting.
I've come to the realization that it might be time to change jobs. I don't enjoy my job. On top of that, I'm actually not very good at it. I'm finding a lot of things very frustrating and shady, and I'm just not into shadiness. I feel isolated. I no longer trust my boss, and if you can't trust your boss then who can you trust? Working from home is not all it's cracked up to be. I miss having friends at work. I miss leaving the house. I think that I am depressed, and working from home is certainly not helping. I think I need to leave the house and have human interaction everyday. Yes, I see Marc everyday, but not for very long since we have opposite schedules. And, I need to see people other than Marc. The problem is that I would be giving up a lot of good benefits, and I'm debating on if that is the right choice or not. I'm feeling that obviously all of this material benefits are not all that, if they were I would be happy, and they aren't making me happy. But, they do make things easier.
On top of that, I hate the travel. I don't think hate is strong enough of a word for how I feel about it. And, I dread the travel. When I have a trip coming up (a trip that involves a flight and spending nights some where...) I dread it from the moment it is booked. I then count the time down until I get to go home. And then start dreading the next trip. Right now, I'm in Philly dreading going to Detroit.
The next obstacle is that obviously this isn't a very good job market. There are zero jobs listed any where in my field. I'm fine with changing fields. I just don't feel that I'm qualified to do anything. Anything else that is.
Going back to school would be an option, but with this job that would be virtually impossible since I travel and my schedule is not consistent from week to week. Plus, I'm sort of into instant gratification, and going back to school would not give me that.
I'm also sort of stuck with location. Right now, I'm probably looking at an hour commute to get to Indy...and I'm not sure I'm feeling that.
I just don't know what to do, but something needs to change because this isn't cutting it.

People are Jerks.

So...you're wondering (probably not), has the money issue been resolved? The answer is a very loud emphatic NO.

I haven't spoken a word to them since we returned from our vacation. Marc has spoken to them, he's hung out with his friend several times since then. They've discussed the situation, and right after our return when this conversation took place the friend, K, said that he felt really bad and he became really upset that I was upset (seriously, like you didn't have a clue that might possibly happen....?). I now just feel that was a load of crap, and quite honestly, if I don't talk to these people again I am fine with it. We didn't have a strong friendship to start with, we were building a friendship, and this incident says so much about their character I no longer feel inclined to build a friendship. I'm done. That's not how you treat people. We weren't at a level of friendship where I feel they should even feel comfortable asking to borrow money from me, let alone what they have done now.

As I said, I haven't spoken a word to them since we returned. I would think that if someone felt really bad and was really that upset that they hurt someone and made them angry they would want to apologize. These people haven't. I live about two minutes away from them. They haven't called, sent a text message, written a note or stopped by. And, you know, actions are stronger than words and all of that.

They have been paid three times since we have returned (I might add, that Marc and K work at the same place, I KNOW when he gets paid), and I have been paid once. My math skills suck and all, but even I can tell that doesn't equal out. Seriously? You feel SOOOOO bad about it, and you can't stick to the payment plan that YOU suggested? The one time that I was paid I feel was really only because Marc asked. He was told that he could come over and get the money. Really? You can't even bring it to me...he has to go get it from you?

The fact that it now seems we're going to have to bring this up after every pay check is beyond frustrating. Seriously? You KNOW you got paid. You know that you owe me money. Do you really think that I'm going to forget. I'm not. I feel the lack of effort to make this up says a whole lot, and I just don't want to be friends with someone who feels that they can take advantage of me and not have the decency to own up to their actions, make things right, or apologize.

I don't understand what goes through people's minds sometimes. What ever it is, it's wrong. Who takes a vacation when they don't have any money to do so and just assumes someone else will fund it for you? It wasn't as though they needed to borrow money because they needed an operation, it was a trip to Floida. If you can't afford it you just don't go. At least rational people don't . Jerks go any way.

I'm now starting to get angry at Marc. He's been handling this because I told him that if he didn't do the talking I would, and I would not be nice. He's offered to pay me back multiple times, and that just isn't the point. If he paid me back, I would not be any less angry or ask about it any less. I know that he would not ask them for the money if it was him that was owed, he would just let them take their sweet time paying him back...if it's me, he at least asks sometimes...so I'm leaving it as is. The fact is that if this situation were reversed and one of my friends screwed him over my friend and I would have already had words. And, if the situation were at the point where this is now, we would have had words again. I get that this is his best friend and that it's difficult, but in my opinion the fact that it is his best friend just makes it worse and makes them even lower than before. I feel they're taking advatage of him and their friendship as well. And that's crappy.

Why is it that when someone does something shady to you, YOU feel bad bringing it up? Calling them out on their actions? The situation is uncomfortable, but THEY made it that way.

What ever.

I was really trying to build a friendship with these people. People who I had zero in common with, completely because they were so close to Marc. At one point during the trip I actually considered telling them to just pay for the rental car, and we would be good. Then they did this. Now all I think of is what the heck were you doing buying souvenirs for your family, for yourselves, why I am hearing about you being at the tavern multiple times a week, why did you call last week and invite us to go shopping with you when you owe me a ton of cash? It's really not okay.

It's just not really a good week. I'm frustrated, and unhappy, and just done with a lot of things. Done. Done. Done.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Can someone who knows me please explain exactly what it is about me that says "If you want to take a vacation, but can't quite afford it, go with Amie, she will front you until you can come up with the money!". I actually thought I've been quite vocal in my annoyance at that happening before, I've shared the story, in fact, I've shared the story with the new parties involved, but it didn't appear to sink in. Apparently, what ever it is about me that says "If you want to take a vacation, but can't quite afford it, go with Amie, she will front you until you can come up with the money!" is way stronger than anything else that I actually have vocalized.

Currently, I am sitting in a beautiful condo right on the ocean in Florida on the 22nd floor and I am so seething angry I cannot even go sit on my balcony to enjoy the view. Well, I also can't go because there isn't wireless internet and the cable won't reach the balcony.

This trip was planned weeks and weeks and weeks ago. The dollar amount was discussed multiple times before anything was booked. I booked the condo at the end of June and paid for it in the beginning of July. And by paid for it I mean with a check, not a credit card...there was no grace period. The rental car was discussed, the dollar amount was discussed, and I paid for it on MY credit card. I'm not sure what about this was difficult to understand...just because something is paid for on a credit card does not mean that you have eternity to pay it off, it's not a free ride, paying it off during that billing cycle is sort of important otherwise the cost just goes up. And, when something is paid for with a check, there is NO GRACE PERIOD. This was all stated, although a little nicer than how it's typed above.

I was asked before we left it would be okay if I were given some money ahead of time and the rest when we returned, and I was fine with that. Only it didn't happen. Last night the guy from the other couple asked me if it would be okay if he and his wife paid me $50 each from their pay checks until it was paid off. I said okay. Now, you might be going "well, why the heck did you say okay?!?!?!"? I'll explain. This couple is my boyfriend's best friend in the world. It was obvious as this conversation took place that there was not an alternative, saying 'no, that's not okay' would not have accomplished anything because they obviously did not have the cash to hand over to me. Starting a disagreement with people that you have to spend the next day with and drive with for twelve plus hours on the way home would not be the ideal situation. It can be discussed later, but now isn't good.

My annoyance is that first of all, why in the heck would someone just assume that I have the cash to back their vacation? What about me says that I do? Secondly, why in the heck did this conversation take place DURING the vacation? Obviously the other couple knew well before mid-trip that they didn't have the cash available, wouldn't you mention it before hand? And, thirdly, if you want to make payments out of your paycheck every week, why the heck didn't you start that BEFORE we left, not after we return?

Let me also state that I did not want to go to Florida in August. I did not want this other couple to go on vacation with us, I wanted a vacation with Marc and I by ourselves. I also did not want to front this trip for them, but apparently I just don't get what I want. (Shut up, you're on vacation in Florida...I KNOW!).

And, while I'm complaining I'll also throw this out there....I spent hours and hours of time, and had the assistance of a friend in locating this condo. *I* found it. I checked condo after condo looking for the perfect one. The contribution of the other couple in the search for where to go in Florida was "Where ever is cheaper", because I'm a freaking travel agent and have the time and resources to look at every city and location in the entire state and figure out where the cheapest place to travel is. I booked the condo. I paid for the condo. We get inside, they waltz into the master bedroom and declare "We would like to have this room!". Really? You want the master bedroom with the view of the ocean? With the kink sized bed? With the private attached huge bathroom? Really? You want that? You don't want the tiny other bedroom with the double bed and small not so private bathroom and the crappy view? Really? Of course, take it...that's fine, I'll pay for your trip AND give you the good bedroom. (Marc actually told them that was fine they could have that room. I said we could switch half way through. Marc didn't see the big deal. Until we switched last night...now he gets it). I also see that "where ever is cheapest" should have been a clue, but when things are discussed MULTIPLE times and NO ONE indicates that price was a problem how in the heck should I know that it is?

Seriously.

Okay, I'm finished now. Venting here will allow the next couple of days to go by peacefully. I hope.
Cheers!

I need some more sweet tea...

So...allergies have been kicking my butt all week. Today I can actually talk. Which is a plus because for the past two days I really couldn't. Not only was my voice practically nonexistent...talking brought on coughing, coughing brought on a sore throat, which went back to the not being able to talk. Strangely enough, the allergy reaction put a stop to the ache in my back that has been going on for the past few months after I sleep on a mattress for more than four or five hours. Goodbye back ache, hello sore throat. I'm not sure which I would take if I actually got to choose.

Yesterday I called to cancel my electricity from my apartment. Yeah, I'm that quick at doing things. For some reason, I thought the apartment complex took care of that...and I was wrong. Duke Energy has a very helpful automated menu that asked twelve hundred questions from my account number, to the day I wanted service stopped to the name of my pets. When I finally got a human on the phone I figured everything would be right there in front of him, and he would know exactly what I needed and all of the details. And I was wrong. So...Duke Energy, I ask you, WTF is the automated system for because it didn't speed up my call, it ssssllllloooowwweeeddd it down? Is it really necessary for me to answer questions twice? Is it a test to see if the answers match? The CSR on the phone apparently was unable to access the twelve hundred questions it just asked, and I had to squeek them out again. I guess thank goodness for lack of a voice because the dude evidently felt sorry for me and just did what I asked without any other crap. Of course, this was the electric company, and I moved...it wasn't like there was another service he could push.

We're finally a stop closer to having a room addition. We're working on getting a loan to fund the project, and, due to the economy things have changed. Who knew what we were missing out on? Say goodbye to the days of construction loans that you could get money to fund your entire project...they aren't offerred any more. As for home equity loans, say goodbye to the days when you could borrow 95% of what your house is worth...it is now 70% (down from 75%, which it was two days ago...). It is supposed to take two to three weeks to get everything worked out with the bank, and hopefully while that is being done we can finalize things with our contractor (we've narrowed it down to two...), and get started. Hello new kitchen...hello countertop space...and my two favorite things, hello dishwasher and hello washing machine, you can finally come back home. I never thought things on my wish list would be a washing machine and a dishwasher. Apparently, I'm old. Or domesticated, I'm not sure which...but neither really sounds good.

And, lastly...hey, Dish Network...it's Thursday, and it's almost 8:00. Even though it's sunny outside I expect that you're working out some way to screw up Survivor for me this week. Or, maybe you're truly evil and you're just going to wait until the finale on Sunday to pull something. You suck.

Cheers!